Purpose in the Pause: Part 3 (Family)

“Lets go to Disney World!,” is what I yelled when my wife gave me my Father’s Day card this past June announcing that she was pregnant with our second child. And as you can see in the picture above, we did!

By the way, Disney World is amazing! Not only are the parks and attractions spectacular, but the customer experience is out of this world. There is so much attention to every little detail, making your experience feel simple and almost effortless. Their customer experience is spelled out in their Seven Service Guidelines/Behaviors. Ironically they have tied them to the Seven Dwarfs:

Be Happy…make eye contact and smile!
Be like Sneezy…great and welcome each and every guest. Spread the spirit of Hospitality…It’s contagious!
Don’t be Bashful…seek out Guest contact.
Be like Doc…provide immediate service recovery.
Don’t be Grumpy…always display appropriate body language at all times.
Be like Sleepy…create DREAMS and preserve the “MAGICAL” Guest experience.
Don’t be Dopey…thank each and every Guest!

Similar to Disney, there are values that are core to our experience as individuals. And while everyone has them, they don’t all impact us in the same way.

If you have read through my previous post on Marriage, you should of gleamed that my “pause” was the consideration for my wife and I to separate. Now there were many happenings that led to our issues, but what this season and our counseling has shown us is that we have an even deeper level of hidden issues that are about our fundamental human needs and values.

One of the tools provided to my wife and I included a general list of basic human needs, and what we should essentially value as a couple. I’ve since adapted it slightly to reflect the implications for families and hopefully give you a guideline as you establish a system of values for your family :

CARE. Our family needs to feel like there is someone who is interested in, looks out for, and helps them.
ACCEPTANCE. Our family needs to feel like there is someone who knows them for who they really are–both good and bad–and still values them.
CONTROL. Our family needs to feel like they are no being forced to do things.
POWER. Our family needs to feel that they have the ability to decide on and do things on their own.
LOVE. Our family needs to feel like there is someone profoundly interested in their well-being, not only wanting the best for them, but actively working to bring those things about.
INTEGRITY. Our family needs to feel like their words and actions align with our morals and belief systems.
RESPECT. Our family needs to feel like they are being treated with the dignity they deserve as a human beings.
COMMITMENT. Our family needs to feel like there is someone they can rely on to be there for them no matter what.
TRUST. Our family needs to feel that other people will follow though on agreements.
RECOGNITION. Our family needs to feel like their efforts and achievements are noticed and valued.

Here’s the thing, being part of a family means creating the best customer experience for all those involved. Disney’s vision may be to create happiness, but our vision should be to create family. And “family” is what you make it.